3 May 2008'How does an initially successful behaviour establish itself as a self-defeating behaviour and why is it so difficult for the client to recognise it? ' Introduction Anybody will be surprised to know that there do exist people who will go out of their way to perpetuate a saga of defeat and failure in their seemingly normal life. Yet, we more then often come across such individuals and groups in our personal and professional lives who readily invite failure by the dint of their destructive and negative behaviour patterns. This seems more like a tragic flaw in some Shakespearean Tragedy which moulds the character of a tragic hero to the point where failure seems to be a well deserved and acceptable outcome in the scheme of things.
Ultimately the character becomes the destiny and the tragic hero succeeds in soliciting the sympathy and concern of the people observing his life. But, the things are not as romantic as they seem during a stage performance. Defeat can certainly not be accepted as a natural state of affairs. Infact it is quite healthy and wholesome for a person to aspire for success in the face of big and small adversities that come across ones way.
To succeed is normal. Any indication of a tendency to deliberately indulge in a behaviour that ensures defeat is definitely indicative of the fact that the person under consideration is a victim of self defeating behaviour. Definition of self defeating behaviour According to The Free Dictionary by Farlex, ” self defeating personality (disorder) is a persistent pattern of behaviour detrimental to the self, including being drawn to problematic situations or relationships and failure to accomplish tasks crucial to life objectives. ” Various types of self-defeating behaviour Self-defeating behaviour is a broad psychological disorder that includes in its ambit a variety of self sabotaging patterns (The New York Times).
Such patterns often have the power to mar a person’s personal and professional life. It will be really interesting to discuss a few such negative tendencies. Some people have the inclination towards not preparing well for the tasks assigned to them. Due to a pathetic lack of preparation, they often fail to exhibit appropriate levels of confidence in the things they do.
Mark is a fairly talented student considered to be really gifted by most of his teachers. Still he fails to secure good grades because of his pitiable habit of not preparing well in advance for his academic assignments or tests. Thus he mostly ends up becoming a victim of this unproductive behaviour pattern, so far his grades are concerned. One common self-destructive behaviour is seen in people who have the propensity of acting as if they know anything and everything about any topic or issue.
Owing to this habit of their’s, they often create resentments in their work environment and peer group. They mostly fail to establish a meaningful and constructive communication with others. Ultimately they end up getting isolated and abhorred by people around them. There are individuals who have panache for being oversensitive. They take instances of criticism and dissent too personally. It never dawns upon them that criticism is often a step towards fixing a problem. Hence they chose to bear with unnecessary emotional pain that takes a severe toll of their efficiency.