The Sense of Deathography - Essay Example

DEathography Students name: Manveen Kaur Student Number: Course name: Course Code: Course Instructor: Date of Submission: September 2, 2011 Word Count: 2,219 Deathography The phrase that parents should never outlive their children and that children should not outlive their parents as well has been heard by many people. Death refers to the end of life as indicated by the absence of all imperative organs (Johnson & McGee, 2006). According to Bradley (2009), death is painful for everybody young and old. It is said by everyone that death is a part of life and that whenever we stop to think about death, people die everyday (Braddock, 2006). Death has no borders across the country or across the street but we feel that immense feeling of being alone in our suffering only when death comes to someone that we love (DeSpelder & Strickland, 2009). Health care professionals especially nurses are accountable for assisting family of the deceased to cope successfully with the problems of taking care of the deceased whenever there is death (Sorensen & Iedema, 2009). It is therefore due to these facts that this paper is aimed at describing how I lost my grandmother through death and how it affected my present understanding, attitude and beliefs about life. In my life, death has played a significant role despite the fact that I have not encountered many deaths; the ones that I went through were of great importance. When I was 10 years old, my mother fell sick and grandmother (nany) took me to her place where we lived with her. She was caring and loving, and she always looked after my health. Hence, when I grew up, I had established close relationship with my grandmother rather than my parents. We loved each other and believed that nothing can separate us apart from death which Murphy (2007) asserts that have separated many people across the world. I was married in my grandmother’s place and she paid everything for my marriage and study. After being married, I moved to Australia for my study. At the beginning of this year, I went to India to visit my family and my lovely grandmother. She was so glad to see me after three years. I really enjoyed my holidays when I was with her but unluckily; it was my last time to see her though it is difficult to believe. One day, when I was in India in February this year, I took my grandmother numerous photos so that I can see her when I go back to Australia. She asked me to save all her photos since she felt that I would not have been able to see her again due to the fact that she was sick and old, and that she might die any day- this turned out to be correct because nany died in March, 2011 and I was only left with these photos with nowhere else to find her in the world. I told her that I didn’t want to hear this because it haunted me. However, this led me to believe the words of Glenn (2008) that people can predict their death but they can’t tell when it will occur. I went back to Australia at the end of February and a week later, I was feeling differently as if something wrong had happened at home- in India. Hence, I rang to my mum in India, she was upset that day and I asked her what was wrong, she didn’t want to say anything to me maybe because she thought that I was going to be more worried if I heard anything wrong about our family though she finally told me that grandmother was admitted in hospital because she had a medical history of hypertension- high blood pressure and diabetes. According to Lamont (2006), Diabetes is a disease associated with abnormally high level of glucose in the blood. When nany was taken to the hospital for medication, it was proved that she actually had high blood pressure 190/100 mmhg and high blood sugar level. According to Olshanksy et al. (2009) and the fact that I am a nursing student , I knew that this problem was not a big issue if treated correctly but unluckily, doctors were unable to find out the main cause of her problem due to poor practice. Due to inaccessible CT Head (Computed tomography), doctors delayed my grandmother’s treatment. According to Wilson & Hirsch (2007), a delay in diagnosis and treatment significantly increases morbidity and mortality and therefore places vulnerable patients at risk. One day later, doctors observed her CT head scan that confirmed subarachnoid haemorrhage. Subarachnoid haemorrhage refers to any bleed underneath the arachnoid meninges of the brain and it can also occur as a result of trauma, stroke and unidentifiable cause (Wilson & Hirsch, 2007). Subarachnoid haemorrhage is usually followed by Hypertension. Uncontrolled hypertension increases risk of health problems such as stroke and heart attack (Wilson & Hirsch, 2007). I was very worried in that I couldn’t concentrate on my studies since I knew that Hypertension and hyperglycemia can result to death if it is left untreated which will consequently have severe effects on the lives and families of the deceased according to Kübler-Ross (2008). A few days later, mum called me and said that nany didn’t have any response, she- nany- was unconscious and Doctor had placed ventilators her. I was so shocked when I heard all these. I didn’t believe but I cried and talked to mum on phone asking her about grandmother and she replied me that doctor told her that nany had started to respond positively to medication. I was happy to hear that and again prayed to God who gives and takes away life according to Williamson & Shneidman (2009), and felt that my grandmother was going to recover after few days. The following day, I rang my mum while in train on my way to Hospital for my placement. Before talking to my mum, I just prayed to God asking him to give me good News but very sadly and unluckily, I heard bad news. Mum sounded as if she had tears in her eyes and said to me that grandmother had joined our ancestors according to Pendle (2008). I was shocked to the extent that I wasn’t able to talk to mum and could not stop myself from crying in the train all the way to Hospital where I was on my placement. I felt so lonely and depressed that time, when I lost my grandmother, and currently I am still shocked and not sure if she really died because she was fine when I visited her. I was unable to concentrate on my studies anymore when remembering that I had lost somebody that was of great significance in my life and even started to reflect how life will be without her. According to Olshanksy et al. (2009), the initial response following the death of a loved person is usually one of shock and disbelief. She had gone too far from me and I can’t see her in my life but I only feel her and dream her in my life. Even though I didn’t believe that nany had passed away, it took me long period of time without seeing her hence forcing me to accept what is referred to by Hossain & Gilbert (2010) as truth of the matter. Despite her old age, my grandmother was of great significance to our family particularly to me. This was not only due to her love, tenderness and caring, but also due to her increased support including financial and advice. To me, this was a big loss despite her old age (Meyers et al., 2009). It was during this period of time when I came to accept words of Meyers (2005) that you will not know value of something until you lose it. This implies that it was until after my grandmother’s death when I came to realize how she was actually of great significance to me. After death of my grandmother, things changed completely and my world also changed completely, I was exposed to real world with nobody to go seeking assistance or advice. My grandmother used to advice me on how to cope with marriage life and how to handle family matters since it is said that marriage is full of obstacles (Schlesinger, 2009). I am highly stressed since university fees has become a burden to me in that I am not in a good financial position to pay my university fees on time when putting into consideration that I am an international student who has to pay high fee compared to native students. My grandmother was of great significance since she was always ready and willing to help me pay my school fees in addition to other financial needs. She was always there for me ready to give any kind of support that I expected from her. However, with her death, I have nobody to consult other than my mum who has less experience when compared to that of my late grandmother. It was therefore due to these facts when I came to realize good healthcare facilities and highly trained and skilled doctors and nurses are fundamental in any health and developing societies. Absence of these will lead to poor health and low rate of development. I came to realize this when putting into consideration that poor medical infrastructures and presence of doctors who had lower skills in diagnosis were the key factors that led to my grandmother’s death, I was opened my eyes and thinking capacity. That is therefore why I decided to do all the best to ensure that I have all skills needed in nursing and medical field at large since it require high level of skills and commitment according to Kübler-Ross (2008). This will help me to save life of many people that is lost through poor healthcare services (Kamm, 2007). I would also ensure that there is use of proper medical equipments and that proper medication procedures are applied and followed not only in India but across the world (Olshanksy et al., 2006). Furthermore, I have realized that in life, everybody is supposed to be independent with high ability to do things on his/her own according to Williamson & Shneidman (2009). We should also accept the fact that death is meant for human being and anyone can die anywhere at anytime (Pendle, 2009). Hence, as long as we love our parents, friends or relatives, we should be always checking degree and extent of our love. We should not go to the extent that in their absence we don’t worth living. This is due to the fact that not only me but many people across the world tent to love others to the extent that they even want to take their own lives or even start living miserable lives after death of their loved one (Braddock, 2006). Therefore, by accepting the fact that there is death for us, and loving our relatives like anybody else, we will be in a good position to deal with death cases whenever they emerge (Belshaw, 2009). We will not be affected immensely with the death of our loved one even though we will miss him/her (Bradley, 2009). In addition, family members should learn to console themselves other than waiting condolence from somebody else. This will put them in a special position to deal with any circumstance especial death which emerges at any period of time (Hossain & Gilbert, 2010). I also came to concur with the words of Glenn (2008) that doctors and nurses are not in a position to cure or heal but their task is to treat while God heals. Therefore, we should not be expecting all time that doctors will cure and heal all patients presented to him/her (Lamont, 2006). We should not blame them incase of death but accept the fact that the day of the deceased had arrived and even thank doctors, nurses or attendants for their efforts or attempts to heal our patient even if they were not successful (Barbara, 2007). Doctors and nurses should have high experience and use proper machines and medications to ensure that they don’t cause any death or that patients die in a situation that might be believed to have resulted from their mistakes or errors as there are many cases currently (Harris et al., 2008). In conclusion, death has become part of our daily activities with people loosing their parents, friends and relatives on daily basis. However, this should not mean end of life since life has to go on regardless of whom we have lost through death. Therefore, all people across the world should be ready to face and encounter death cases where they loose their loved ones. They should be strong and not moved by death but be encouraged and be strong since death marks the beginning of new life. However, even though death is inevitable and nobody can stop it, we should try to do our best to prevent it by putting into place proper medical infrastructures by employing highly skilled doctors and nurses to take care of patients. We should also ensure that all people have easy accessibility to high quality medication and medical equipments. And finally, we should never doubt that there is death, instead we should be looking on how to deal with death in case it emerges. References Barbara, L. 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