Profile Draft Reviews – Essay Example
Profile Draft Review Profile Draft Review: Aoi Kan This profile attempts to enlighten personality of a sensational girl who has been portrayed as sweet, friendly, and softhearted.
The structured profile makes efforts to pour writers own emotions and feelings to engage the reader. The introduction outlines the person`s nature superficially though. Student has attempted to inform readers of good qualities of the person such as good natured and ambitious personality, but phrases such as “also good at drawing pictures” sound weak here. There are more impressive ways of mentioning such artistic quality.
Also, there is frail way of explaining a strong relationship bond with a lovely pal; it could be more intimidating if the girl had filled in more credits to her friend in building this relationship.
The scene and happening of accident have been described beautifully and elaborately. However for most part, the writer repeats the statements showing guilt of her friend in spite of emphasizing her sympathetic nature behind this. In addition has given too much stress on her speech, though she failed to deliver the original essence of these.
Profile Review: Kelsey Larsen
Because the student made a nice try to attempt this topic; this is commendable. However, it was confusing to make out the actual interviewee of the profile according to the criteria of adequate profile writing. However, it was overcrowded with quotes from the source and the interviewee, making it lively though, it would have been nicer to see more conscience-generated thoughts (Zeisser, 1998). The organization of the article is well structured; with adequate stress on to introducing the interviewee,
The personal interview with mother describes his adequate choice of ideas for the topic, and this is the best part of this profile.
The depiction of worthiness of college life was concluded adequately at the end, which suggests his insight on this topic. Few citation were taken from reliable sources, which does not give good impact overall.
Zinsser, William. “On Writing Well” New York: Harper Perennial, 1998. 100-115