Deathography: The End-of-Life Studies - Essay Example

Running Head: END OF LIFE STUDIES End of Life Studies Name Institution Date My Deathography The death of someone close is actually the most unexplainable pain that one can ever experience. When my mother died I could not even explain in words the pain that I felt. She died suddenly after collapsing on one of the stair cases. I was only seventeen then however I could feel the emptiness due to the big gap that she had left in my heart. Emotions have since lived within me like a secondary skin that is just beneath the surface. All it takes is just a little prick to have them bust out and yet again stay hidden from me in times when I want to remove out and deal with them head on. There are periods that I found my self immersed with happiness, joy, utter sadness and darkness. However as years go by I have learnt to become a great specialist in distraction. Distracting my self is actually the only mechanism that I can use to effectively deal with the world around me. What I have come to realize is that the big world is actually not the problem but rather the small world. The small world is me being alone in the in the house, the dark moments before I go to sleep, in the small world that basically haunts my life. Many a times I get my eyes reflecting on her picture and remembering the actual day when the picture was taken. It was actually a good day. I then feel that I was `lucky to have spent most of the wonderful years of my life with my mother. For a period of sixteen years I felt blessed to have hard my mother in my life. In despite of the fact that we sometimes conflicted, she always made sure that I always felt better. Just like any other person who has lost a loved one, I think I will never understand why death hard to be part of the experiences we undergo in this life. What I sometimes feel is that death does not make any sense. My mum was thirty years, full of energy, ready to be a mother at all means, she was happy, loving and vibrant. She was actually a good friend, good wife, brilliant mother and very beautiful. Now she is gone and the world just keeps on turning without realizing that someone is missing. I sometimes wondered why things have to be normal and yet it is not normal that my mother is not around. Every day of my life I walk around with an eternal lump that lived in my throat and a tear on the edges of my eye waiting for the next incident that will puncture my skin tissues then emotions spring out in a manner that is uncontrollable. As I highlighted earlier the only action took was to destruct may self. It was almost like a TV remote was on my mind and therefore when the picture becomes increasingly intense, I just pressed a button that will eliminate the effect. I read almost all books about how to deal with grief and the stages of grief. I tried the writing down of your feelings whenever it hurts, tried to socialize and share out my feelings. However the loss did not seem to disappear. In addition the therapy of death brokering did not also effectively work for me. Despite of the fact that social scientists have used the concept of death brokering to render the aspect of death in a manner that is culturally acceptable. I still experienced a challenge to accept such perspectives. I asked my self the big question that every one asks why? I tried the crying therapy and sometimes it seems beneficial, I therefore believe that crying is actually a fundamental part of the grieving process. How the experience has influenced my attitude and beliefs in life Dealing with the occurrence of death is usually very much tasking and the side effects can actually change an individual’s life completely. Christakis(1999) highlights that the side effects of death can lead to an individual dealing with bereavement and loss which is actually emotionally toxic , because it can result to stress and anxiety . The experience of death has actually revolutionized my belief and attitudes towards life. Earlier before this particular experience, I used to think that death does not happen at my door but rather at other people’s door steps but not mine. One of the girls in my school had lost a father and what came into my mind was that death was just for other families but not my family. I however come to the realization that in life death can evidently occur to any individual, that loss and pain due to death is actually for all men. The notion of death brokering which tries to justify death in the cultural context may to some extents be useful in the understanding that immortality is actually not possible. Influential historian’s psychoanalysts, social scientists philosophers have proposed arguments that mortality creates the final limit of contemporary societies due to the fact that it comprises of the defeat of reason (Bauman 1992). While men continue realize the inevitability of the aspect of death, modernity sometimes seems to elude the fact that all men will ultimately die. Death has therefore changed my perspective concerning how fancy it may be to be alive. In despite of the present luxuries and comfortable lives we tend to live in modern society, life can sometimes prove to be impossible especially when it comes to believing that everything is always going to remain the same. My belief about life has also been transformed in the sense that I have leant to view every moment in my life as useful and precious, I therefore believe that I should cherish each moment I live and those I love, is important to acknowledge the fact that life exceeds beyond just living but also fully loving the people around you. Reflective perspective on How the Death experience affected my Teenage Life It is usually a difficult experience to loose a parent at any particular age. When my parent died I was in the transition of trying to be independent. I believed that I need to act like a grown up and hide my feelings. I had feelings of anger as I tried to understand and explore the world. In order to suppress the pain I felt, I engaged in alcohol consumption as an escape mechanism. According to one of the article s produced by the British Medical Association, the consumption of alcohol among you people has actually been on the increase, there are some who have regular drinking habits while others occasionally drink. Adolescence are usually on the transitional period when their physical and psychological features undergo various significant changes such as brain alterations and hormonal development this may result to wanting to explore(Best 1990). I on the other hand explored alcohol consumption as a scapegoat. Studies on adolescence also highlight that at this period most young people begin to associate more with friends more often as compared to their childhood level. I on the other hand faced the challenge of socialization, I related to very few friends’ and hardy communicated to any one, all I did was to keep to my self. This basically was not due to lack of sufficient self esteem to socialize but rather I just kept to my self to avoid showing my sadness to others. The loss of one of my parents at the prime of my teenage life greatly affected how I developed as an adolescent, Instead I was a silent, self directed and lonely young individual. My social life only involved me and a few friends who I did not basically like to socialize with. Socialization was therefore not very essential to me like other young teens of my age . Psychologically I was disoriented, I could not fully concentrate in any activity essentially school. My school grades in almost all subjects, begun to deteriorate. This was due to lack of full concentration in class. My teachers complained about my grades and tried to encourage me to work harder. As time elapsed I was forced to put more effort in my studies due to pressure from teachers. Physically as a research conducted by British psychologists highlighted , the mind body connection is precisely recognized in grieving individuals. The huge emotional upheaval that an individual experiences after losing a loved one frequently weakens the physical body, this results to many mourners experiencing various pains and aches. For instance dental problems can be common in such individuals, this is because stress hormones usually wreak some sort mayhem through the body of an individual. In most incidents a person who is constantly in grief due to the loss of a loved one undergoes feelings of difficulty in breathing, shortness of breath, eating disorders and sleep disturbances. In my case there were days when I could not sleep well I stayed up all night thinking and even crying. I also experienced unexplainable pains for instance chest pains and bone etching. When I visited the doctor no particular disease was discovered. The doctors rather recommended that I should visit a psychiatrist. Mentally death can wrap ones mind around. The closer the relationship one had with the deceased, the intense the effect. Effects such as short term memory due to frustration are usually common. One is always on a regretful mood and is always questioning why a certain incident occurred. Emotionally one imagines that your feelings or emotions are frozen . One keeps on questioning why death had to occur . In despite of the main objective of professional clinician’s to try and render the dying process as meaningful for the people in contact with t he dead person , a person who dies without being accounted for by medical professional , through giving the precise cause of death, lives much questions to those left behind. In my context, the death of my parent was not comprehensively accounted for thus it was difficult for me to stop asking my self questions such as why. How to reduce the impacts of the Loss in Adolescents Adolescents require feeling they have rising control over their own lives. Particularly in times of loss and separation, it is therefore essential that adults provide them with as a lot of opportunities as possible in order for them to control their emotions and lives. The integral aspect of decision making should also be provided in order to assist the adolescent deal with loss and grief. Teens require advice on deciding how much of their history they should reveal to their inmates and friends. Teens who keep to themselves due to grief should be given space in case they need any however they should not be left alone for long hours (Aries 1977). Implication on my Career Dickinson. & Field (2002) highlight that the end of life care studies are essential for nurses and other health care professionals , however more useful to nurses because they provide direct care counsel and comfort patients who are near their end life. Therefore a nurse visiting a patient’s room several times increases the probability of interaction with an individual who is almost dying. The experience I had in my past of loosing one of my parents has helped me realize that I can easily understand that death is inevitable and in despite of seeing a patient suffer and finally die I realize that sometimes that it how destiny designed. I therefore find courage to move on with my career with confidence. I also understand that some were meant to live while others die . I also have learnt to understand that the greatest gift a person can offer to a mourner is to give them the freedom to grieve without the use of the repeated assumptions of the power of time (Bulman 2004). Conclusion Death is an experience that is inevitable in despite of the psychological and even physical effects attached to death, it is vital for an individual to learn to deal with the grief in a positive manner. End of life studies is a useful segment of study that assist practitioners in the health care system to perceive death as a natural occurrence that should not hinder the performance of an individual. After writing my Deathography experience I realize that I can effectively tackle my Career which is entangled around a lot of death experiences which I Know I can deal with . References Aries, P. (1977).The Hour of Our Death. London: Allen Lane Beck strand, R., & Anumandla, P. (2003). 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